Published: 16 years ago
Sorry...I missed your post.
Change will happen whether there is acceptance or not. It is the nature of everything to change. Whether that change occurs in a preferred manner or not may, however, be a function of what actions a person takes to contribute to that change. Have you ever heard the saying "What you resist persists." If a person has not accepted/allowed themselves to fully feel whatever they are feeling, it is like being in quicksand. The harder one fights being their, the deeper they will sink and more stuck they will become. The way to get out of quicksand is to surrender oneself to being there in the first place, and...without fighting this reality...to take appropriate action to change where they are.
There need not be value judgements about emotions in order to make changes. I like asparagus. I also like brussel sprouts. I am not particularly fond of turnips. This does not mean there is anything 'wrong' or 'bad' about turnips...it is simply my choice not to eat them. There is no judgement about turnips. So I make the choice to prepare asparagus one day. Another day I make the choice to prepare brussel sprouts. I take whatever actions are necessary in order to be able to eat asparagus or brussel sprouts.
"How would you tell someone in a few sentences, how to use acceptance and change to achieve their goal of leaving a stuck state?"
This is a difficult question to answer and would take more than a few sentences. I would want to know what they are feeling and how it is manifesting for them, some history of how they came to feel that way, and more about their lifestyle in general. I would validate how they are feeling. I would ask them if they can start out by being OK with where they currently are and point out that beating themselves up for feeling how they are feeling is only contributing to how they are feeling. I would encourage them to do the things that I suggested so that they may gain some insight into what is going on within them or to assist them in moving in a more preferred emotional state. Increased awareness of themselves may trigger a shift in their emotions.
It should also be kept in mind that physical conditions or lifestyles may contribute to a person's emotional state and being stuck. For instance, thyroid problems can manifest as Depression
or anxiety. Similarly with a poor diet or inactivity.
I know you are looking for a logical and simple answer to your questions, but...as I said before...dealing with hypotheticals is difficult and there isn't a single pat answer for addressing them. Are you trying to get answers about your own emotional state or are you trying to assist someone else with their's?
Here is another post that may also help you understand more about accepting one's emotions:
I hope this has been helpful. Keep asking questions if it is helping bring you clarity.