continuation of the conversation:
I have a genetic disorder that I was born with due to a genetic mutation at birth. Pretty much the same one the elephant man had, but not as bad .. ....
continuation of the conversation:
I have a genetic disorder that I was born with due to a genetic mutation at birth. Pretty much the same one the elephant man had, but not as bad ... yet, but it is always getting worse. Even as a grown as man - 37 years old, I fear leaving the house due to the way people treat me and have struggled to find work even though I graduated university at the top of my class . My brother - who is normal has a son who is healthy and good looking - as are the majority of people in my family. He is about 6 years old. A few months back he told me that I was ugly ( cause of all the NF bumps on my face) and that he didn't want me to go to his birthday party because I would scare all his friends away. Every time I see him, he is doing the same things the kids would do to me in grade school -making fun of my eyes by trying to mimic mine. He does it behind my back not thinking I cant see him, but I do. It does trigger my PTSD, thats for sure and I do not like being around him because it causes me to have flashbacks and according to my parents, I should have just got over it. I confronted my dad and brother and their response was - oh he is just being confident. My dad has never had anything to do with me my whole life. But he loves my brothers kid like gold. Been homeless on and off all my life. My parents do not own a home, so I never got the option to live with them after 17
@The_Reality_Pill It is really hard because people treat you like a monster. When you sound smarter than you appear, that makes a lot of people even more angry. It is a very lonely life and I hope you do not have to endure the decades of loneliness and isolation I have. I have never really had a true friend. Only a few people that kept me around as means to feel better about themselves that enjoy making fun of me and enjoy watching my suffering. I was just trying to make the point through all of this, that I agree with Benedict, that kids are mean. I just try to stay away from them at all costs. Sadly, no matter what skills I have - nothing really matters when you are as ugly as I am. I think you are probably like me - and I am sorry if I am wrong in this assumption, you have empathy because you cannot take any of your relationships for granted, because you have so very few. That is why I keep people around I should have tossed a long time ago. But if I did, I would have absolutely no one. I have one friend that makes fun of me constantly and told me to get over it and that genetics are dead with a big smile on his face, when I said I was lonely. Him and another guy I know - both these guys are married and constantly call me an incel and constantly like to bring me down in front of their wives. They constantly rip on me behind my back. So I am no stranger to what you are going through. I know your pain. I hope you are better off than I
@No Name it hits home. I can imagine that your life has never been easy, and I'm beyond sorry that you've had to experience this hand in life. I'm sure the severity of my issues do not compare. I've strongly felt (and still subconsciously feel) like a monster. I've been a loner since depression struck back in early 2017...since then I've had some ups, but a mainly a gradual decline down. The relationships I do have in my life are valuable to me bc I know that if I didn't have them, I would probably never have anymore nor would I really care to...I've grown very numb to the outside world and most people in it. I have some people in my life but it doesn't take away the loneliness...
@No Name the word incel is just another psyop to attempt to dehumanize us men...people throw around that word constantly, it's laughable. Don't let others gaslight you man. You know yourself better than anyone else...these people have probably never done an ounce of reflection or shadow work in their lives. Btw, you are a very articulate writer...maybe theres a way to start something up where you work online/remote? Maybe you've thought of it already, I'm just making suggestions...
@The_Reality_Pill I think I take the comments about "wouldn't it be funny if you roped" that I get from these same people as being more insulting than being called an incel. I am a CPA, but I can usually only find work through private contracts I get offline. However, it is usually a whole song and dance every time I meet a new client, because I do not look the part - most of them assume I am on drugs or something. I am currently working as a project accountant remotely for a construction business, but I think the days of this contract are numbered. Worried about losing my house. Nevertheless, thank you for the kind words. Trust me, I have tried everything. I like to compose music on the guitar - I am way more creative-minded than I am analytical, but obviously I have confidence issues. I did play some of these same people some of my music and they were blown away by how good my voice was, but they discounted it by saying that the talent doesn't matter cause I am assed looking
No Name 3 hours ago
@The_Reality_Pill And obviously I have to take the retard discount on most of these Jobs. Should be making well over $50/hour with my experience, but I am currently only making $30 as a contractor - which is pathetic. So, once again, I am being used. ''