okay,I have been doing this for a long long time and I just realized it now.
I seem to project alot of my intense emotions onto people then they remain lock and chain on that particular person/event for a long long time.
say,with hate,sex or love..I remained attached to a certain event and attach meaning and purpose to it..though I don't know why..
For instance,with love..I remain attached to an image of my ex whom I really loved.I also tend to idealize love and girls,though in reality I am more in love with the idea of love then of it actually taking place in my life.When something bad happens or it ruins the ideal,my feelings just stop for them.
with lust,it was with someone that I didn't love but i remain sexually enticed by her and that type of girl though i have no feelings for her nor is there any reality concerning in it..in other words alot of the lust in only in my mind,and for some reason i have placed all of my sexual energy locked into this person,despite having zero emotional desires for them.
I also seem to lock onto this mature woman fantasy,where I will only fantasize about older woman (i am 27) while they are in their 40s.just random woman,my boss or managers or maybe even distant relatives..yuck,i know..sorry lol.
I place hatred and anger on little spites and hold it against them even if the slight was small,though like any other emotion i hold placement on..i objectify them and project these feelings of hatred as well onto one or two people and hold them accountable for my bad feelings.
how do i overcome such a narrow way of handling my emotions???
there are only like a few reoccuring thoughts that plague me daily..it has mostly to do with sex,anger and love...but they seem to only circulate around the same events over and over including the same people.Maybe I am having unsolved issues with them??
the thing is..i get pleasure from these types of thoughts,as damaging and hurtful as they may be to my psyche...